One of the unexpected miracles in life occurs when infertility brings about blessings.
Let's be honest: nobody signs up for infertility.
While there are those who arbitrarily choose not to become parents, the ability to make that a choice is in itself a form of fertility privilege.
Yet nowhere in the history of humankind does anyone choose to never have the choice of whether or not to reproduce.
(It is, therefore, commonly-assumed that fertility is a human right, but in truth, this is not so.)
Statistics from the Centers for Disease and Control tell us that one out of every eight couples experience infertility, a condition which can result in depression and mental health complications, failed relationships, and costly (and sometimes dangerous) medical treatments which may or may not prove effective.
Over 11% of American women undergo some form of fertility treatment in their lifetime; male infertility issues are also reportedly on the rise.
And yet, sometimes, the infertility experience can lead devastated would-be parents to beautiful new options through the miracle of adoption, leaving them to view infertility itself as an unexpected blessing.
<h2>If an old dream can't come true, launch a new one.</h2>
For couples with infertility, the longing to experience a pregnancy of their own can be a deep and innate desire that others without infertility may never fully understand.
The desire to create life-- to reproduce a child of one's own genetic inheritance-- sometimes supercedes the dream of becoming a parent, so it is risky to assume that the two quests are identical.
For this reason (and because it is never the responsibility of a child to fulfill an adult need,) it is important to never say to someone struggling with infertility "well, there's always adoption." (Even if there is.) Folks need time to close out one chapter before they pursue the next one.
And even for those who are open to adoption, it is important that those with infertility be given time to grieve their infertility losses and identify the resultant effects of infertility on their identity and their relationships, before beginning the adoption process.
To acknowledge the inherent differences between parenting a biological child and parenting a child who becomes yours through adoption is an essential step in preparing to be the best parent you possibly can be to whatever child will ultimately join your family.
<h2>Always believe the Abrazo mantra: "not if? but when!"</h2>
Ever since Abrazo began in 1994, its Milagros (full-service) program has been limited to adopting parents with documented infertility. Abrazo's designated and special needs adoption programs do not require infertility as a prerequisite, yet our most popular placement does.
Adoption is not a cure for infertility. It can never fully compensate those who suffer from that condition, nor erase the impact of their loss.
So why, then, has Abrazo always reserved its largest program for those with infertility?
It's because we believe that only those who have endured and survived great loss can truly empathize with and appreciate birthparents and children who endure the loss and grief that comes with adoption.
Adoption is borne of loss. If you've been around Abrazo for any length of time, you've heard us say that before, and undoubtedly, you'll hear us say it again. Anyone who has placed, adopted, or been adopted has endured life losses that have shaped them in ways that even they may not understand, yet which uniquely impact their coping skills.
Adoption can provide children in need of stable homes with loving parents and more secure futures. And it can make parents of qualified adults who have no other hope of ever building a family.
Not "if?" but when!
<h2>Why trust Abrazo (after trusting infertility doctors didn't pan out?)</h2>
At Abrazo, most childless couples successfully match and/or place within 6-12 months or less. They come into our program excited, nervous, apprehensive and/or hopeful. Most are uncertain of what open adoption means, but they do understand the need for adopted children to have a positive understanding of their adoption story and some level of familiarity with their birthfamily.
Over time, though, as they learn more about birthparents and come to know them, a funny thing happens; Abrazo's adoptive parents start to realize how precious open adoption truly is, what an advantage it is to adopted children to benefit from openness, and they begin to treasure their connection with their child's first family.
The most blessed of Abrazo's kids have parents (both by birth and by adoption) who learn to value their open adoption relationships early on, so they have optimal time to enjoy the advantages. The luckiest, perhaps, are those whose parents didn't "get it" early on, yet manage to grasp the importance of openness and develop genuine open adoption relationships before the birthparents have become forever lost to them (and their children.)
Abrazo believes in honesty, in truth and transparency. We don't make promises we can't keep, we honor our word, and we urge all our clients to follow suit.
This doesn't mean that everything always goes as planned, of course, but it means that our agency operates with integrity and our clients become like family, and our community is a large, loving tribe that continues to pay it forward, long after each adoption is completed.
After all, when infertility brings about blessings, new growth overcomes old fates, and life springs anew
Let's be honest: nobody signs up for infertility.
While there are those who arbitrarily choose not to become parents, the ability to make that a choice is in itself a form of fertility privilege.
Yet nowhere in the history of humankind does anyone choose to never have the choice of whether or not to reproduce.
(It is, therefore, commonly-assumed that fertility is a human right, but in truth, this is not so.)
Statistics from the Centers for Disease and Control tell us that one out of every eight couples experience infertility, a condition which can result in depression and mental health complications, failed relationships, and costly (and sometimes dangerous) medical treatments which may or may not prove effective.
Over 11% of American women undergo some form of fertility treatment in their lifetime; male infertility issues are also reportedly on the rise.
And yet, sometimes, the infertility experience can lead devastated would-be parents to beautiful new options through the miracle of adoption, leaving them to view infertility itself as an unexpected blessing.
<h2>If an old dream can't come true, launch a new one.</h2>
For couples with infertility, the longing to experience a pregnancy of their own can be a deep and innate desire that others without infertility may never fully understand.
The desire to create life-- to reproduce a child of one's own genetic inheritance-- sometimes supercedes the dream of becoming a parent, so it is risky to assume that the two quests are identical.
For this reason (and because it is never the responsibility of a child to fulfill an adult need,) it is important to never say to someone struggling with infertility "well, there's always adoption." (Even if there is.) Folks need time to close out one chapter before they pursue the next one.
And even for those who are open to adoption, it is important that those with infertility be given time to grieve their infertility losses and identify the resultant effects of infertility on their identity and their relationships, before beginning the adoption process.
To acknowledge the inherent differences between parenting a biological child and parenting a child who becomes yours through adoption is an essential step in preparing to be the best parent you possibly can be to whatever child will ultimately join your family.
<h2>Always believe the Abrazo mantra: "not if? but when!"</h2>
Ever since Abrazo began in 1994, its Milagros (full-service) program has been limited to adopting parents with documented infertility. Abrazo's designated and special needs adoption programs do not require infertility as a prerequisite, yet our most popular placement does.
Adoption is not a cure for infertility. It can never fully compensate those who suffer from that condition, nor erase the impact of their loss.
So why, then, has Abrazo always reserved its largest program for those with infertility?
It's because we believe that only those who have endured and survived great loss can truly empathize with and appreciate birthparents and children who endure the loss and grief that comes with adoption.
Adoption is borne of loss. If you've been around Abrazo for any length of time, you've heard us say that before, and undoubtedly, you'll hear us say it again. Anyone who has placed, adopted, or been adopted has endured life losses that have shaped them in ways that even they may not understand, yet which uniquely impact their coping skills.
Adoption can provide children in need of stable homes with loving parents and more secure futures. And it can make parents of qualified adults who have no other hope of ever building a family.
Not "if?" but when!
<h2>Why trust Abrazo (after trusting infertility doctors didn't pan out?)</h2>
At Abrazo, most childless couples successfully match and/or place within 6-12 months or less. They come into our program excited, nervous, apprehensive and/or hopeful. Most are uncertain of what open adoption means, but they do understand the need for adopted children to have a positive understanding of their adoption story and some level of familiarity with their birthfamily.
The most blessed of Abrazo's kids have parents (both by birth and by adoption) who learn to value their open adoption relationships early on, so they have optimal time to enjoy the advantages. The luckiest, perhaps, are those whose parents didn't "get it" early on, yet manage to grasp the importance of openness and develop genuine open adoption relationships before the birthparents have become forever lost to them (and their children.)
Abrazo believes in honesty, in truth and transparency. We don't make promises we can't keep, we honor our word, and we urge all our clients to follow suit.
This doesn't mean that everything always goes as planned, of course, but it means that our agency operates with integrity and our clients become like family, and our community is a large, loving tribe that continues to pay it forward, long after each adoption is completed.
After all, when infertility brings about blessings, new growth overcomes old fates, and life springs anew
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